The Truth
by Lauren Order
Summary: A fanfiction filled with rainbows and happiness! By none other than Rose Shlock Helm!   Based off of Breaking the Fourth Wall.
1. Chapter 1

The Truth

-A Fanfiction by Rose Shlock Helm, a teenaged girl who is American (but loves British stuff like tea and using funny words!) and is not at all affiliated with Sherlock Holmes or the incredibly sexy John Watson.

NOTE *OMG AND LOTS OF STUFF* I hate hate hate when people are totally rude and mean about my hero, Sherlock Holmes! People should stop _hatin'_ and start _appreciatin'_ his incredible wit and problem-solving skills instead of making a fool of him by posting embarrassing photographs. That's, like, totally cyberbullying.

Once upon a time, a gentleman named Sherlock Holmes was sitting around being awesome, like he always was. And then someone came up to his door and knocked. But before they did, Sherlock knew it was going to happen because I forgot to mention he had **magical powers** that made him superior to all of mankind.

"Dude, why are you here" he asked and then the dude said "I am here to kill you"

"I don't think so" he said as he kicked the evil dude out the door. And then the evil dude fell in a puddle of mud hahahahaha… And then John Watson *swoon* who is rated the sexiest man alive by Scotland Yard said "I love you darling thank you for getting rid of the bad man!" And then they lived happily ever after.

If you've made it this far, then you've seen through my ruse. Congratulations. Now, we get to the truth.

Yes, Sherlock Holmes has been spotted in a rather -shall we say- _interesting_ photograph. But as someone who knows him rather well, I can assure you that this photograph has been doctored.

Well, by whom, do you ask? There is no other explanation. It is a group of teenagers on their blogs who think it is _humorous_ to put people they don't even know personally into pictures that may, in fact, ruin their reputation. This is the case with Mr Holmes and his subsequently ruined reputation.

The identity of one "Army_Riot" remains unknown to everyone except Mr Holmes, and consequently Dr Watson. So be warned. There may be photographic evidence of something actually true. Maybe… involving an incident at the swimming pool? I'm only kidding. Since "Army_Riot" is a teenager (at least maturity-wise), I will leave him/her to simply end the release of such terrible images to the public.

Now, on with the story. Because everyone knows that most people skip the boring middle section anyway and want to get to the part with steamy romance.

During their happily ever after life, Sherlock and John liked to have lots of tea and jam straight out of the jar. Sherlock would play his violin and John would sit on the floor and play with his My Little Ponies. Because ponies like violin music!

One time, Sherlock and John kissed, and it was amazing(!) because John was nervous at first, as he always is, and Sherlock was fearless because he knew John would come to appreciate their love. After they kissed once, John insisted they kiss again and again and next thing you know they were -snogging- and then there was other stuff that wouldn't make this appropriate for a young girl to have written, cause I'm a young girl obviously.

But John thought it was more fun than his ponies and jam combined.

LOTS OF LOVE xoxo and…

[_Please, for everyone's sake, never leave me to write another story such as this one. Certainly there had to be a better way to conceal my message, Lestrade. I'm not asking you for advice anymore. This was just painful. -SH_]

**_a/n: More chapters will be coming via this story. Breaking the Fourth Wall was simply the introductory oneshot. Also, I'm considering making a rival Moriarty story and I can update each alternately._**


	2. Chapter 2

_**a/n: Sorry for the lack of updates in this series, but I've had so many ideas swirling around my head and now I'm finally getting to write them down!**_

A note from Rose: Thanks for the comments and all cause you are all so sweet and _I don't take kindly to your insults. John is not a chore boy._ I totally will love to write more stuff for everyone!

**This** is a story about the magical jam of Wonderland. I know Alice in Wonderland **is** a classic book, but this is gonna be way cooler because it's **John** in Wonderland instead!

John liked to have picnics in the park with his boyfriend **Sherlock**. Sherlock **thinks** John is crazy for liking to eat jam out of the jar, but **John **does it anyway. One day, John started eating a new, magical kind of jam. "This jam **is** like heaven on earth!" he said, making a weird face. "That's **attractive**," Sherlock replied sarcastically. **How** much of a loser Sherlock was for **insulting** him!

Still, **John** didn't mind. He just gave Sherlock a taste of the jam and then it **was** almost like drugs because they were in a deep trance. **Never** before had either of them had such a psychedelic experience. They started to see very **involved** hallucinations of My Little Ponies dancing in the forest **beyond** them. These ponies were way better than the fake ones back when he and Sherlock were only **flatmates**!

Of course, **Moriarty **had to show up cause he was actually the **evil** dude. It was about time someone revealed his **identity**. It would take more than an entire **army **to stop this guy. He always tried to incite a **riot** in the streets because he's just that bad.

"I just want to punch him in the face," John said. "He always shows up to ruin everything, and jumps to all these impossible conclusions, and I wish he'd just leave you alone, Sherlock. Do you know why he comes after you? Neither do I. So I wish instead of this 'cyberbullying,' he'd just show his face to us (preferably without semtex strapped to my chest) and tell us the actual truth. Because these lies are doing nothing but propagating false information."

"OMG, me too!" squealed Sherlock as he wrapped his arms around John's neck. "Westwood is so last year, and we need to catch up on the latest episodes of Jersey Shore." And then the two of them went off to Wonderland to eat more jam and give impressionable fangirls the idea that they were romantically involved. Because obviously two guys couldn't just share a flat and a hobby. Never.

Unless only one of us fancies the other. Which could be an issue. More research is necessary.

Thank you from Rose Helm! LOL :) xxo

_(I'm clearly not as good at this as Sherlock… I think it's the fits of rage that happen when I think of what it is I'm actually doing here.)_


End file.
